COOPER FAMILY HEADCANONS: 

alice cooper née mcmanis:

• graduated valedictorian of her class. didn’t go to university, though and instead attended a culinary school a state over. she used to cater quite a bit during the first years of her marriage but eventually lost interest. 
  
• was married when she was nineteen and pregnant with chic. 
• teaches piano now on the side. she’s the one who taught betty how to play the keyboard. her favorite song to play is hallelujah. a dream of hers is one day to own a grand piano, but their house has never had enough place for it. 
• her and hal had a split when polly was six, betty was one, and chic was eight. they worked at it though and through persevering got back together. betty doesn’t remember this at all, but polly and chic do. they never told her. 
• loves very much being a housewife and is proud of it. despite it all, she chose every bit of her life, and doesn’t regret it. except choosing not to travel to paris as an exchange for her culinary school experience; she was too nervous to and missed out. 
• her hogwarts house is also hufflepuff; this is shown by how hardworking she is in everything she does. 
• her favorites include: jazz music, online shopping, buttered homemade popcorn, and ensemble comedies. 

hal cooper:

• his uncle owned a garage. it closed because of the debt he was in, but betty’s grand uncle simon’s the one who taught hal everything he knows about cars. he still has a souvenir from the old garage hanging in his own; a broken fan wing. 
  
• has two brothers. they’re close as all hell. one died of cancer when hal was only thirty; he was older by just three years. it completely broke him.
• his hogwarts house is gryffindor; this is shown by how despite the risk being great, he invested in the right places and was able to buy alice the house she wanted to raise the kids in. he’s courageous like that; always pushing past his fears to do what he thinks is right. 
• he has a bad back and suffers from scoliosis. he’s had to have surgery for it twice, which has been horrible on the coopers, financially. 
• he visits his brother’s grave every few months, and tells him stories about the kids. sometimes even the news or what’s happening in their little corner of the world. there’s always tears. 
• his favorites include: alice’s pumpkin pie, cold beers, doing crosswords, the color green and family sit-coms. 

polly cooper:

• always had a knack for finding out secrets. read nancy drew reading up and that inspired her to become a reporter. unlike chic who changed his mind a billion times, she’s always known what she wanted to do. 
  
• she was voted most likely to go missing because of a government conspiracy. 
  
• all her friends had crushed on chic; she hated it. 
• she invented the ‘glo-up’. she went from frizzy hair to gorgeous curls and once she started taking the pill, her skin cleared up fabulously. 
• a guy once punched her and broke her nose, so she backflipped him in the name of journalism and then broke his nose. 
  
• the wonky stair on their stair case is because she was trying on the role of the rebellious daughter and stomped up to her room a tad too hard. 
• she’s older than betty by two years. 
• her hogwarts house is ravenclaw; this is shown due to her strong values of the pursuit of knowledge; she believes in the truth and will do everything she can to shed light on it. 
• her favorites include: snowfall, boston cream pie, the smell of rosewater and going fishing. 

charlie ‘chic’ cooper:

• archie always used to say he wished his hair was more like chic’s which is more of a strawberry blonde shade than bright orange. 
  
• growing up he wanted to be a baseball player in the big leagues. instead he became a secret service agent. he also enlisted for several years out of high-school. he joined the secret service when he was 27. 
• the age difference between him and betty is seven years. between him and polly it’s two years. the coopers had him a year into their marriage. 
• he’s known for taking the longest in the shower. 
• him and polly were always friendly rivals growing up. think monica and ross from friends. they were always the type to roughhouse and wrestle together. 
• he rescued caramel when he was sixteen and betty was nine; she instantly was attached to him. he’s the one who named him, though. 
• his hogwarts house is also hufflepuff; this is shown in his patience. he fails quite often, but never gives up. 
• he won homecoming king in his senior year. 
• his favorites include: powdered donuts, golden retrievers, baseball and swimming.